TV Addict

I think I need to go on a TV diet. I've watched too much TV in my life - I know this because when I see a white unmarked van I assume the FBI are inside with listening equipment - It turns out that my neighbor is megalomaniac master criminal who is trying to hold the world to ransom with a nuclear bomb. When I see someone swimming in the sea I assume a large shark is about to rip their leg off, and that some dramatic music will start playing as I run heroically into the water to save them.
When I see a pinwheel or windmill I assume a large yellow Teletubbie will pop his head out of the ground to tell me "Eh Oh". A furry rabbit will run past. When I see a balloon in the sky it is surely a UFO about to make first contact - I will tell them that we want to be at peace with them and they will blow the world to bits to make way for an intergalactic super-highway. When the phone rings it will be myself talking to me from the future with this weekend's lottery numbers - I will use my immense wealth to own the entire town and corrupt the local community with gambling and alcohol. My name is Digamon Cinnamon, and I am a TV addict.